Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
