It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
