im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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