If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
