just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
