He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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