too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
