She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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