I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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