HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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