Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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