I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So apparently I’m into choking now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
