That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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