Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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