so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
