I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
