Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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