some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
