arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
