oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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