I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
