i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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