Tell her she can't have a vagina
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I deserve this hangover.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
