Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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