We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he puts the penis in happiness.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
