ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize