After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
