So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
