she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
