Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
