He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
