; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
