Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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