New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
