forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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