Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
