Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
