and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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