im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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