But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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