When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
