What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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