don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
