Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
