Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
