Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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