bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
