Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
