I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize