Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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