Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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