oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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