my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
