i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ttyl tear gas
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
