Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
