and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
