my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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