where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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