He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
