i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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