I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize