Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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