When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize