I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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