he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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