We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
