its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
