At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
