This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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