I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
